A Battle with my Mind

Avatar Sandra Okpagu
Member since March 8, 2017
  • 5 Posts
  • Age 1

Being fit seems to be the new cool. Everyone wants to be fit, which is good if not for anything other reason than to be healthy. We all love those abs and so most people take their time to go to the gym rooms. Snaps and Instagram stories are filled with people sweating it out in the gym regardless of gender which is amazing. They are being admired and encouraged to some extent depending on the gender.

I love seeing people who work out and I feel amazed, especially when I see those who lift weights. This is because I love it but I am just too lazy to practice it; so I stick to my aerobics exercise. I just run and when I am just too tired or maybe lazy I just walk for thirty minutes and I am back. I am not quite sure if that is among working out but I feel lighter when I do it. Like I said earlier, I am fascinated by those who lift weights. So I decided to start little by little and to try doing just for fun or as a challenge to myself. I lifted weights for days: morning and night consecutively. I noticed my muscles were stronger than usual. I felt very happy inside and I don’t know why I did. I decided to keep on lifting weights and start increasing the pounds when I get used to the ones that I use.

Immediately I felt like I was being judged or maybe I was just judging myself from people’s point of view. I have always wanted to be muscular but I live in a society where a girl looking muscular seems to off from the norm. Maybe that was the reason my mind was being judged because it wants to do something that does not seem normal.

The stereotypical girl has a slim body with curves; so being muscular and lifting heavy weights is seen as something weird and nasty. The amazing thing is that being a girl who lifts heavy weights and is muscular you will be more ridiculed and insulted mostly by your fellow girls. It is simple, they won’t lift weights and they won’t allow you to lift weights either. It’s either you are one of them or you become them. They will give you one million and one reasons why you do not look good. I have actually seen some comments like: Eww, she’s too fit, that’s too much, does she want to be a guy now? Why is she struggling weight lifting with men, who will like this one? And the list goes on.

All of this was why my mind tried reproaching me; it was probably disappointed. It wasn’t ready to be criticized and handle the hatful comments. Who knew that there was an extent to being fit for females? Who knew that females had restrictions when it comes to lifting weights? Do not lift too many weights so you still look girly. I feel bad for my poor mind, not just mine but that of many other girls all over the world who may have been discouraged from lifting weights. It was trying tell me do not go beyond the limits; it was telling me lift weights if you want to but do not lift heavy weights.

At the end of the day, at the end of all the feminist movement, at the end of the gender equality movements, it is like we as females do not even need it. This is because we still let the way our bodies be determined by some norms, and shield those who want to go beyond these barriers rather than supporting them. As for me, so far I love lifting weights; until my love for it fades, I will lift keep lifting more weights. I know that I will be at war with my mind but if it makes me happy then I do not see any reasons why not to keep going.

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