An ODE to a NOBODY - In defense of being average
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Don’t these quotes look absolutely wonderful on paper? Being ‘average’ is abhorred and detested. But is ‘mediocre’ or being ‘average’ really the worst thing in life?
I am an average girl, nothing special, A NOBODY and am perfectly fine with it. Shocked? Since our childhood, we are psychologically conditioned to prove that we are the best. Be it getting good grades in school, doing well in sports, getting admission into the best college, being a social butterfly and making lots of friends, and a seven figure salary. If every human being turns into someone extraordinary, then no one will remain ‘extraordinary’! Not everyone can be Michael Jordan, Albert Einstein, Sachin Tendulkar or The Prime Minister.
People are afraid to accept that they are ordinary and average just like others, nothing extraordinary. Yes, you all are average. I believe that the amount of effort and hard work you put into your goals, as well as how you deal with failure is what makes you better than others. Let me give an example- if I decide to lose 10 Kilograms in one month it may not happen and I will end up feeling disheartened. So set up REALISTIC GOALS and then work towards it. What matters is not how to avoid failing, but rather learning how to GET UP AFTER YOU FALL.
When we set up incredibly high standards for ourselves, we may feel like a failure when we don’t meet our own expectations. Our inner voice shames us. Now this can be dangerous. Let me explain this through a simple example- an onion. The ‘true self’ is at the center and is protected by outer layers. Let’s call these outer layers – ‘false self’. As a defense mechanism, our brain may create a false ideal self to protect our true self. Just imagine how painful it would be for the person to face himself and the world when this “false self ” shatters. It may also lead to anxiety, depression and other mental health issues.
Don’t let your grandiose delusions trap you. There are innumerable success stories all around us, but people rarely talk about their failures. Thomas Edison failed 1000 times, but many of us don’t know that because he was successful the 1001th time.
Am I saying do not dream big? No! It’s good to set high goals but DO NOT GIVE UP WHEN YOU SLIP. Even if you work hard, its not possible to attain everything you want. Life doesn’t work that way. Getting good grades, a job, a high salary, etc. can be part of your life but don’t make it your life.
You were not born to be the next President or Mother Teresa. You were simply born. So don’t beat yourself up when life doesn’t go the way you want. Love yourself and learn from every mistake you make because even making mistakes mean you are trying.
Do NOT let fear of failure or being judged stop you from experimenting or doing things you want to. Do NOT feel afraid to voice your opinion or to take risks. I ventured into blogging accidentally a month back, after I discovered my love for writing. I had left my job at IBM few months back, and cut off with most of my friends after my face got ravaged with acne. I used to stay cooped up in my room, scared to face people and resorted to writing. I can proudly say Producer-Writer Vinta Nanda followed me on Twitter after a #MeToo article I had written went viral.
Success is not final and failure is not fatal, so do not get disheartened when things don’t go your way. It’s okay to be average. Yes! I am “mediocre”, a “nobody” and am perfectly fine with it.