Hello, World!

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Begimai Sataeva
Member since December 2, 2015
  • 11 Posts
  • Age 23

Hello, World!

It is the middle of the week, such grey, but a beautiful day. Unceasing wind is blowing into my hair, I can hear its sound. It is relaxing and pretty busy at the same time. Only young ambitious people can create such an environment, and I am glad to be at this stage of my life, at this place, where nobody judges you, you are the only one who is responsible for your life.

My name is Begimai Sataeva.

Biologically I am a 20-year young girl. I was born in the Kyrgyz Republic, Central Asia, in a small city, in a big family; I am the second one out of 5 children. I have finished the American University of Central Asia and have temporarily moved to Poland to continue my work and studies.

If I have to choose only one word to describe myself, or, at least, to describe how I perceive myself, I would say “INDEPENDENCE”. This word perfectly describes me and the spirit of my folk. I am very proud of my roots, however, I still don’t know who I am.

I am at Starbucks, a popular coffee house in a huge mall. In the middle of the day, in the middle of the week, I am enjoying my coffee drink. They have never ever written my name correctly, or even similarly It makes me laugh. Will I be able to keep this type of carelessness in the future? People around me are busy with their stuff, they almost don’t pay attention, except little children. It is impossible to ignore their friendly scrutiny.

Being an Asian (people are always confuse it with Chinese) girl from Kyrgyzstan, speaking Russian, being considered as a Muslim (but being an atheist in fact) living in Poland, feeling as gender/race/class blind human, I still am trying to find myself.

My personality consists of several parts: family, studying, working, development, love. I am working on every piece, to be a better version of myself.

I live by my own since I am 18, not because I have to, but because I want to. My family takes a lot of place in my soul and mind. I have 4 unique and interesting siblings of different ages, my parents and a huge amount of relatives, who are living in Bishkek, in the same neighborhood as we do. I can’t say that I am dreaming of recreating the similar model of family. No, I would say, no way, but I realize that me is not me without all of them.

When I call my parents, there is always noise and screaming in the background. I feel a connection to them, I am their daughter and sister. My elder sister started to live by herself when she was 17 years old. For Western and European countries this is absolutely normal. But for an Asian family, where children tend to live with their parents their entire lives, this is quite a brave step. Nazik is the best example of an independent, self-made person, however, we never share the same principles and outlooks of life. Consciously or unconsciously, I feel like I have taken on some of the responsibility for my younger siblings. In some way they are my incentive. Life is unpredictable and I dream to be that kind of sister whom they can always rely on, unconditionally.

I am a journalist. I chose Journalism and Mass Communications which is such a big part of me. My father is a famous producer in Kyrgyzstan. When I was a little girl, he used to take me with him to the working trips and business events, where one could find the most prominent representatives of media at that time. I think this fact has affected me a lot. I didn’t have any doubts when I was marking “Department of Journalism and Mass Communications” in my application form. He wasn’t happy about my choice, but it is my life and I am the only one who takes responsibility for it. It is the way my parents taught me, so they couldn’t do anything about it.

I am still an explorer. I am continuing to work in journalism, in parallel I am discovering Gender Studies. I agree with many feminists and ideas of feminism. I am learning so many things about the mental construction of myself, that’s why I still can’t give a precise definition of me.

Before I was so blind, putting social stereotypes on people, just because of their gender. Now, I understand that there are so many qualities in people’s personalities, behind the gender, our expectations, appearance and the way we were taught to behave.

I am lucky to have so much freedom, freedom of thinking and acting. I am enjoying just the mere fact of thinking about this: you and the whole world.

Asian women, I would say, often tend to subjugation. I was not really like that, no, but just being a girl, I took too much responsibility, especially in a group and partnership projects. I thought it is the only right way I should behave, sacrificing my interests and time for the sake of a common idea. I am not that kind of person anymore. I am under my own reconstruction - the reconstruction of my ideals, goals and dreams.

Whoever I will decide to become, in the end, I still have strong rules: sit at the table; speak up, express your point of view, not only orally, but also through creation; achieve your goals and raise a filantrop inside of you.

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