My Clock Is Not Ticking

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Carrie
Member since December 7, 2015
  • 11 Posts
  • Age 24

How do you measure success? How do you define it? Is it by the number of cars you have, your monthly earnings, the designer clothes and shoes you wear, a stellar career, the number of social media followers, your family or perhaps powerful connections?

It’s up to you to determine what makes you successful because success means different things to different people, right? Wrong. Not in my society, at least. In Kenya (and probably in your part of the world too), success is determined for you, whether you like it or not.

If you are 35, single and childless, honey you are a failure! Pick a struggle. If you don’t have children, get yourself a man at least! The moment you hit thirty, your apparent ‘childlessness’ becomes a communal problem - we start worrying for you.

We take it upon ourselves to fix your mess of a life. Don’t worry about how to go on dates love, we’ll set you up for numerous blind ones. You simply must have a child or a husband, but we are aiming for both. You can’t hug your career at night, you know? We don’t care whether you own a private jet, a fleet of cars or have President Obama on speed dial - if you don’t have children, you are a failure.

If you are 35, single and childless, honey you are incomplete. You are simply not woman enough. Your clock is ticking louder than it was when you were thirty. It doesn’t matter if you can’t hear it, that’s what we are here for.

We will exploit every opportunity at weddings, baby showers, birthdays, family gatherings and funerals, to describe to you just how loud we hear it ticking. To your face, will ‘politely’ urge you to act swiftly before time runs out. We will smile and even make a light hearted joke out of it. In private, we will voice our displeasure in hushed tones and shaking heads.

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Who told you I want to become a mother? You think that should be my end game, my greatest desire? That, because I am a woman, I should be dyyyyying to bear children? My biological clock is ticking, huh? The only time I see running out here is the time I’ve given you to get out of my face with your hypocritical nonsense.

What makes you think I need a man in my life? Whether I die single or not, of what concern is it to you? Who knows, I might be 35 and single and experiencing greater peace than you do with your husband. Does worrying about a woman’s love life add a single hour to your life? No tell me, I’d really like to know.

Why do you insist on shoving your standards down my throat? Why are you persistent in judging me using YOUR principles? Keen to see me conform to ideals I don’t ascribe to? You don’t see me judging you for lacking a career, for leaving no legacy besides DNA, for lacking ambition.

No two people are alike. We all have different aspirations in life. We derive satisfaction and fulfillment from different things. Live and let live.





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