What I learned from living in solitary...
- 20 Posts
- Age 22
2017 is reaching it’s end, we’re more than half way through it. But rarely does it strike many of us, because it strikes the minds of only those who’ve lived a different life, an entirely different story in the past eight months, contrary to the ones who’ve been in a stable and similar place as the last year.
Here, I do not by any means disregard the stability and similarity which a lot of people have experienced this year, in comparison to either just the last year or maybe the past few years. It indeed also adds something more to cherish-able to their lives. But this is about the people who went through something they never experienced, be it anything positive or anything unsatisfactory.
For me, as much as I can say these eight months flew, on the other hand I too wouldn’t deny that I felt each day pass onto the next and I remember every bit of these months. It’s been quite a journey. Now journey not in the sense of travelling and being on a roll, but a journey of healing, self realisation and prioritising events and people in life.
Sometimes we keep living, rather surviving ,or merely just breathing. We forget how it feels to feel. We just think of various thoughts, situations and events, and then bury them somewhere deep in our hearts, or more precisely our souls. Before we realise, they pile up on each other and become a part of who we are. We get loved, we get hurt, there’s everything from betrayal to seeking answers to trying to let go and then ending up holding on, but we don’t have the time to act on these emotions. We don’t have the time to express, to realise.
We work on everything else, except ourselves!
I have not done anything in the past eight months, I’ve tried to do various things but maybe I really didn’t try too hard. I was carrying a lot of baggage, something I didn’t realise would end up becoming so suffocating for my mind and my life. I wouldn’t say I was asphyxiated, because that would merely mean I couldn’t breathe, but I’d rather say I couldn’t live and definitely couldn’t be happy.
The past two months I have lived my life in entire solitary (not seclusion), something which has helped me analyse and assess people and situations in a way broader aspect, making me understand and most importantly, feel things more deeply but carefully, because feelings can be toxic too. I wouldn’t say the journey is over, but for the time given to myself, the healing has been quick.
It all started from the realisation that what I was seeking in other people was actually already within me. I was being a victim to all the things that ever emotionally drained me, and I was looking up on to the same very people, expecting them to heal me. That was the biggest mistake I was making. Though I do not deny that a few situations gave me the closure I needed, but it was months of self analysing that led me to a drastic change in my self. It of course did involve a few moments of total breakdown and more than a few moments of overthinking to the point of giving up on everything. But it yielded a healthy state of mind.
The basic motto of our lives is to live, and as I say it again and again, it is to feel. Our consciousness is a gift to us humans, and if we fail to feel and to think, we aren’t doing any good to anybody by running behind materials, merely breathing and then eventually dying one day.
All we need to do is self analyse, feel and act. Not hurt anyone and also not let anyone hurt us. We need to learn how to defend, but on the contrary we know more of how to offend.
This is a piece of writing to all the people who are over sensitive to other people’s behaviour towards them, to situations and to the various other things in life, learn how to defend yourself and save yourself for the right opportunity, right person and the right kind of living. It’s all about trying, nobody will achieve that in a course of few months since it’s a lifelong process. But what I strongly feel is that, the journey, the peace and the love received along the way will make you feel more elated than anything and anyone else. Not elated in your mind, but elated in your soul. Never feel scared to live your life in solitary, it’ll help you open the most hidden doors to your soul. Life is for learning about yourself first, before anything else. All of it has meaning till the time your soul doesn’t depart your body, else it’s all a mere illusion.
Think, analyse, sleep and rejuvenate.