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The idea of what I want to say here was not taught in any school or college. I found it after a long 'soul-searching' period of my 'profession' as a creature of God. I have never attended a class about how to care others sincerity, how to use sign language to talk with them who have speech impaired problem, how to create smiles and laugh for orphan children, and how to approach people with autism and mental retardation. Due to a social activity, finally I should create smile for children in Extraordinary School and several orphanage foundations.
More than a decade, I live my ‘profession’ as God's servant, I feel everything's flat. It's not about feeling bored of life and living that I've experienced, I was able to solve inexhaustible problems; intensity and complicated decisions of life. I was taught by my grandparent, to think that 'my true profession' is to do things that what we can do to help 'without more hope' than my role as a human, "sabisa-bisaa nenulung yen ana wong jejaluk tetulung". It's an expression in Java language. But there was a constant struggle over years before I understood how to do it. If you feeling the same as I do, perhaps, one day, someone will enable us to achieve it directly, to exactly understand why and how they who have limited by economic even psychological and physical feelings could heal themselves, stay healthy, love themself and others -who sincerely come to them- and led innocence which would make happiness for everyone.
In last Ramadan, I full spent four weeks to hold social events in the streets, in 4 institutions and last in an Extraordinary School. Every week I concentrated just on one place, just in 4th weeks, I passed in two different places. I'm not alone, I became a team with two of my colleagues. The concept of our work is to be 'pools' and suppliers: we seek, collect and distribute funds and aid from the donors and benefactors both of money or things, to targets that we had intend before.
At the beginning, I worked according to points what has concepted before, however because of I work directly and handle every thing we needed for activities, inevitably, my sentimental feeling also involved throughout the activity. I don't know exactly when I understand that world in which we spend our lives, gives us energy and possibility for mutual caring. The mercy for others comes much later, and it is not a granted for free, but rather through an incision. All pains; compassions; gratitudes; tears; even fake smiles that attempted to cover the wound. At first, only 'inner' voice which was barely sound, as though become a lot of people's softly buzzing. Finally become harder and harder --which open the fact that from the super echoes then mutual respect and love was born.