This post is a collaboration between Destiny and Yeshna
How often do we look at ourselves in the mirror and wish we had different bodies, different personalities, different lives? How often do we look at others and ask ourselves, “Why can’t I be like them?” How often do we break ourselves down because we simply don’t measure up to the ‘success’ of those around us? Maybe it’s time we ask the question… Do we accept who we are?
Self-acceptance is a key concept in our lives. So many things are dependent on our contentedness with who we are. Our relationship with ourselves is reflected through our relationships with others. It affects whether we’ll have the confidence to chase our dreams or not, live our lives the way we want to or not, truly be happy or not...
Between saying “I am too fat” in front of the mirror and looking on your Instagram feed saying “I wished my life was like hers”, the day is almost over. These negative feelings stop a person from doing things he/she likes and at the end of the day limits them as studies have proven. Society is so judgmental. We are therefore strict on ourselves and break ourselves down again and again everyday. We cry over things we cannot change, and fail to accept who we are. We seek acceptance from others - from our parents, our friends, even people we don’t know. We only accept ourselves if society accepts us. We need validation from others all the time and instead of magnifying our strength, we give more importance to our flaws. The problem is that society will never truly be satisfied. We are conflicted by people, because people are conflicted. And as long as society is a broken system, so too will we be influenced to be broken.
There is a pose in Yoga, the Tree pose, which requires balance, and to stand on one leg you need to focus on a particular point. If you focus on a person and he loses his balance, you will lose yours too and both your legs will be on the ground. Why am I telling you this, you ask? Turns out that life works the same way. We all want to find our balance internally but we place our focus outside, on external things, and when they shift, we too lose our balance. You can never be balanced within if your focus is dependent on the outside things. Therefore, how can you accept who you are when you allow so many things from outside to pull you down? You need to make peace with yourself first and love yourself from within. The biggest relationship in the world is the one you share with yourself and therefore, you should respect yourself. Of course push yourself and be strict on yourself at times, but don’t judge yourself too harshly. Next time you say something bad about yourself, take a moment to think and ask yourself whether you would say that to your best friend.
We carry so much beauty inside us, so why do we care so much about the dirt society throws at us? Stop comparing yourself to others, you are one unique piece so there is no point in comparing. You give one definition to beauty and success and there are 7 billion other definitions of beauty and success in the world. Work on building yourself up rather than breaking yourself down and getting sad over things you cannot change. There are so many people who will try to bring you down so that they can rise, but you have to believe that you have stardust in your eyes and you can do whatever you want in the way you are.
It is okay to make improvements and work on being a better self. As long as you do it for you, and not because of the expectations of society. You can wake up each day and tell yourself that you are going to be a better person than the person you were yesterday, but never wake up and tell yourself that you are going to take away the very essence of who you are, because society told you so.
Every one of our flaws tell a story, they make us who we are. Attempting to erase our flaws would be taking away from ourselves, without them we would not be unique, and we would not be whole. Instead of second guessing ourselves and asking if we accept who we are… Let us embrace who we are. Let us stand up and say- “This is me. These are my strengths; these are my flaws. I am me. I love me for me. And that is enough.”