The dynamic privilege


I am about to share a story that my friend narrated a few days back. It's not fiction, it is very real.

In his words-

"I am an eye-witness, witness yes, because the incident I am about to share is tragic. A few days ago I was in the hospital, my sister was about to have brain surgery, she had a tumor. The operation went smoothly and it was a success.

After the operation, they shifted her to a room, which she shared with another patient. This patient was a little girl, probably 14, she was quiet. Then it was known that she is in a coma for the last 3 months, her parents were there 24*7 taking care of her. The moment I saw the problems they were facing, my reality which I felt is unjust, seemed like a grain of sand next to Jupiter.

In India, hospitals have very little space and no extra beds for parents or friends staying with the patients. The parents of this girl stayed 24*7 next to her. At night her mother used to sleep under her bed on the floor, just a single cloth sheet in-between. Her father was jobless, due to the COVID situation. I saw them sleeping on empty stomachs not because there was no food, but because their daughter was in a condition they had never imagined, it was hard for them to accept the reality. She was not eating so they were not eating. The funds were running low, the hope was tumbling. I saw them crying I saw them on the verge of a breakdown, but they stood, for their child. I helped them in whatever way I could, monetary and non-monetary. I left my contact details with them in case the situation gets worse.

There I experienced many emotions... empathy, melancholy, anger, faith, hope, love, care, a zeal to survive, to save their daughter from the clutches of fate, which are malleable and not defined. The fervor of emotions and the undaunted courage I witnessed there was astonishing. Then when I looked at me, my life, my situation, my struggle to achieve materialistic feats, it all felt futile. I felt that what we care for what we strive for are not the things that actually matters. Even if we fail once or twice or many times what matters is not giving up all that matters is standing tall even after your worst fall."

Now back to me- 

I learned many things from this:

First is be grateful, if you can afford three meals a day and a roof over your head you are very privileged. 

Second is never put yourself down, it's just a set back, it's just a grade, it's just a game, it's just a dress, it's just a phone, it's just a phase. It will pass and there are bigger problems to worry about. Look around us, ask old people what actually mattered in their life? You will get the answer.

The third is " If you are more privileged than others make a longer table, not a taller fence." This statement defines itself.

Next, take a deep breath, pause for a moment, and analyze. Is the problem you are facing worth the toll it will fetch and the mental and physical stress and imbalance it will cause?. If not, then stop worrying and stressing about the things which you can't control, opportunities ain't over, learning ain't over, growing ain't over, LIFE ain't over.

What we take for granted might be a privilege for someone and what we consider a privilege might be a mundane feat for someone. Privilege is when you think something is not a problem for anyone because it is not a problem to you personally. Privilege is not visible to the people who have it. Privilege is dynamic.

Take care of people who actually love you. You don't need a crowd to stand by your side, the crowd never shows up when you need them. In the end, it's only your family that will never give up on you. And in the very end, you only have yourself. So take care of yourself. 


P.S.- I am a novice at putting thoughts and ideas in black and white (this is my very first attempt). Sorry for the typos and mistakes (if there are any).

Privilege can either blind or be an eye-opener, the choice is ours. - Renita Sequeira