This blog will discuss a specific young person’s experiences with mental health issues. The topic of experiencing mental health challenges may be difficult for some readers. If you or a loved one is struggling with their mental health, please seek support by accessing the following resources: Child Helpline International; Open Counseling Suicide Hotline Database; United for Global Mental Health
If your country does not have a national helpline please seek professional and community support from trained and experienced carers, especially before making any decisions on treatment.
Sometimes it becomes difficult to even talk about what you feel. There's a cluster of thoughts taking over yourself. Most of the time you struggle to remember the last time you were happy. You might laugh and smile but you don't know the last time you were genuinely happy and not just trying to stretch your mouth muscles. Tears might roll down your cheeks but when asked the reason behind those tears your heart might cleave.
Many might just ask you to stay strong but none will just sit down and listen. You don't need to wipe or control your emotions to appear happy. Your emotions have value, so why not feel what you are feeling? Embrace what you feel. It's you only YOU who can calm down your burdened soul. I know each night seems to attract you more as there will be fewer souls to interact with, fewer questions to be answered and few faces to be smiled at. It's easier for the individual to accept oneself and be vulnerable when no one is around, it's easier to find peace when tears soak up
Your pillow and you do not need to worry about someone asking you the reason behind them. All you need at that moment is love. Love has become an overrated word these days, folks just neglect to understand the denotation. The interpretation varies so much in each " heart " dictionary that somewhere the expression itself loses its momentum. All of us here are struggling but none of us here are ready to accept the emotions. The sooner you accept it, the easier it will become to pacify your conflicted soul.
The conflict always remains between the two major organs which are positioned at different parts of the human body. They even fail to coordinate and come to an agreement. Each organ anticipates a mismatched outlook. It becomes so challenging when you are responsible for bringing them in line. The desynchronization between them makes it difficult for each part of your body. I know you are still trying hard to sync everything but escaping is just not an option. Every single day might feel as wearisome as it can get. Nobody is responsible for leading the way. At the end of the day, you are only left with yourself and your solitude. Your soul chooses to pick you up when the world pushes you behind. Then why deceive yourself in times when you have to be the indestructible pillar your soul can rely on? Your soul deserves to be happy, it deserves to smile, its heart free, and it deserves to prioritize itself before any other individual.
Choosing yourself before an individual is not the definition of self-centered. It certainly means keeping your mental peace at sanity and picking your contentment over others. It's primary to keep your heart happy before anyone else's. Why let others decide what your heart feels? Why erase your individuality? Why can't we just accept how things appear to us? Not being okay doesn't make you weaker than the rest instead it makes you much stronger to have the courage to feel what you feel.
Dear heart, it is okay not to be okay. You will be found soon. You will grow stronger soon. You will find your way through the maze shortly. You don't have to be in a constant race with others. If God has created you as an Individual then, why not grow as one?