We all get tired sometimes. For instance, of our life, our situation or the people around us - maybe just for a day or two, maybe for a week.
It feels like we can’t get along with ourselves, like we are losing the connection.
Don’t blame yourself for being tired. Don’t blame yourself for wanting to give up. It’s okay to lay down and cry for one whole day.
There's a lyric that was recently stuck in my head: "capitalism injects morphine called hope with dream as collateral" (Agust D ft. RM: Strange). I was thinking about this for a while and came up with the following: Let's suppose you think of yourself as strong. How would you define this adjective? A person who doesn't cry, who is unbothered by emotions...
That's the picture society gave us. Now, what you actually want to do is to lay down and cry - but this is not considered strong. In order to be strong, you need to give up on expressing and feeling your emotions. Society portrays being strong in an unhealthy way and is injecting it into our veins like morphine.
You are being told: "Give up on your desire to cry and to feel. You're weak for wanting to do that." And in exchange, they give you the hope of fitting into the system. The only way to conform with society and satisfy the human need of belonging.
In other words, don’t call yourself strong if all you do is run away from your feelings.
But here’s the thing. I was raised as a fighter – I learned to pick myself up, dust myself off, and carry on. And you can do it as well, because to a certain range, you are raising yourself. You are responsible for yourself and your mindset. That puts you in control.
Don’t let it consume you. Whatever tires you right now, I can promise you, it will get better, as long as you keep going. It's okay to be tired for a day or two. Maybe a week, maybe even a month. But don't let being tired become a habit, or it will stay with you for the rest of your life.
Sometimes, we have to stop relying on others and start trusting ourselves. Because at the end of the day, that’s the only thing you have left. Yourself. Your beautiful mind, your precious soul, your artwork of a body. Even though it was not easy, you survived every single day - looking back, that's really impressive, isn't it?
I was raised as a fighter. I keep on fighting for myself because I choose to do so. I’m going to make a good life for myself. Will you join me?
- Kim Namjoon (RM of BTS)