Setting Boundaries in your life

how to setting boundaries?

Hi, i'm Sabrina now i wanna talk about the boundaries in our life? is this important or not? lets read it.

In Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend’s Book once said "Healthy Boundaries are like the property around your home". It means, if house have a fence to keep anyone who we know or dont know, Our life is like that too. Because we won't want to put a thief into our own house right? Of course we only allow people we know to enter the house.

Let's think, surely we can't let people we don't know into our house right? or another instance, there are people we know but only as co-worker, he/she must only be able to wait in our living room, right? because it's not polite to enter/surround our house and of course we'll be angry because he/she is only a co-worker.

Boundaries are protectors over us, it's like from people who will exploit us, manipulate us, and control our lives, and within the boundaries itself we must also find out how to characterize people we can trust. This is important because it can help us to clearly distinguish between our position and the position of others, and between our desires and desires of others. Because sometimes our thinking with the others' thinking are different and we cant force them to follow our opinion.

Furthermore, making boundaries also helps us form healthy relationships with other people because, a healthy relationship is "how we are actually" not "what we must do to that person (sounds fake)". Even though this is important, there are still people who think it difficult because they are afraid that others will look them complicated. Or, there are some misunderstand the meaning of setting boundaries like; "making boundaries is a sign that you're selfish" or "you only care about your well being" or "You just want to make others comply your standards". It's Not Actually True, if we want to respect other people, we have to respect ourselves first and if we want to respect other people it doesn't always cross the line it means you can say no if you think its not good for you, don't afraid to say NO. 

Setting healthy boundaries is a crucial part of life and an important aspect of any self-care practice. Someone who’s not used to setting boundaries might feel guilty or selfish when they first start out, but setting boundaries is necessary for mental health and well-being. Appropriate boundaries can look very different depending on the setting, and it’s important to set them in all aspects of one’s life.

i think the text is quite long, i will make the next article about how to identify and set boundaries. So, if you interested just often to look my profile maybe I've uploaded it. 

“Say ‘no’ simply but firmly to something you don't want to do. Do not feel that you need to explain” (Kairns, 1992).
In general, “Healthy boundaries are those boundaries that are set to make sure mentally and emotionally you are stable” (Prism Health North Texas, n.d.).
“When one person is in control of another, love cannot grow deeply and fully, as there is no freedom” (Cloud & Townsend, 2002).