Dear Ex,
Simple things fascinated me, like your nose. Well, it did. It does not anymore, not because it turned ugly....You did.
With all the lies, oh the damn lies!
I was not naive, I just did dearly love you.
You.
Made up of your personality, peace and calmness. Deep sense of spirituality.
Smile, childlike laughter. Heart for humanity and its happiness.
Love for simplicity, for justice, for women, for children. For love.
That nose looks crooked now.
In that moment you first held my hand as we watched the dirty river flowing on a Sunday afternoon, after church. I felt it in the back of my neck and you looked into my eyes later on and told me you had heart disease. Gave me a lame story that you injured yourself while playing football and the scar had faded. The miracle of Bio-Oil. Wow! Wish it worked on my stretch marks that well or better yet, erase the thought of that test strip with two dark red lines.
Your nose just fell half way off. How ugly. I can live with that but surely that's ugly.
"I love you."
Those words came out with so much ease from your mouth. How they rolled off your tongue, they sounded almost angelic and I wanted nothing but to be there for you. You were there for me alright, you had the audacity to tell a grieving mother that she worshipped her dead child just because she talked to his photo and had it set in a place she could see it at all times. Was I sure you had love for kids? Was this even your own flesh and blood you talked of as such?
Prick!
This nose, argggh, yuck!
Then you slapped me.
Why?
Are you crazy? You call me a whore? For real? He texted after you were the one with my phone for more than a week. Surely your love for women is as true as your nose when it had beauty.
It scares the heavens out of me that it was so easy for you to bring that woman home, to go ahead and clear my things out of her sight in a pile at the corner of the room and cover it with a sheet. Whisper sweet nothings in her ear. There's no need for hell when such creations walk in the light of the day. You are the raging fires of hell.
Nose. Goodbye nosy. You were beautiful when you existed.
But.
Thank you.
Because of the ugly nose, I now know love.
In it's purest form.
I LOVE...
I love me too.
Yours gratefully,
New self-loving ex.