Puberty. For me, that was when things took a very wrong turn. Not that things had ever been right, but they became worse when puberty hit. At first, I didn't think that anything was wrong. After all, puberty affects different folks differently. And when I did notice that something was wrong, doctors waved me off because acne, weight gain, bodily hair and irregular periods (they do take a while to become regular) are classic signs of puberty. When I was around 16, I went to sleep one day and woke up the next with an almost bald patch at the back of my head. My hair was thinning, and my hairline...

What is with women and fairy tales? The first time I heard of this was over my favorite political drama series, Madam Secretary, that projected a woman who was tired of pursuing perfection. Her quest had been so tough and achieving a break-even of goodness and prowess in both her career and social life was not tallying up quite well. In this particular scene she was fretting on how tired she was for trying too hard to be both a political leader in her country and a family woman only for her efforts to always turn futile. This prompted me to hit the pause button and try contemplating on that...

Last year a lot happened, there were so many changes that I wondered, ''is this really happening?'' I started my dream school, got international friends, and finally moved in the hostels. I was living the campus dream. I could finally attend to the campus parties, hang out with the cool kids and maybe, I could finally have my prince charming, especially if he could have Michael Jordan's physic and Chris Brown's talent. Now that I would call ''love at first sight''. It started very well, attending classes on time, ensuring I participated in class not just because am smart, but mostly because I...

I would love to make a ‘Procrastination’ rant, you know; talk about how much I have grown lazy over the past few weeks, maybe months! Complain, and regret about the loss I have made in terms of losing friends, opportunities and probably slowing down in my general life progress. But, maybe we can do that later =) (That being a poor pun, shall we continue?) What is interesting about my procrastination encounters lately is how the little breaks I have been taking keep growing into lazy afternoons and days. If I were to make a study on how much the small ‘rest time’ decisions we make have lead us...

‘I am the Hail, and the High Waters!’ ‘No body! Takes Command?’ ‘We’re never done! Or rather: ‘Whatever happens, there’s always another move.’ ‘Whatever happens, we do not give up.’ And then my best… ‘What did I tell you to do Olivia… To work twice as hard to get at least half of what they have.’ All these golden words could be anyone’s mantra. A source of internal inspiration that is enough to make you feel motivated for a whole year, a lifetime even! And yet, they do not count as an eighth of a quarter of a paragraph in any of Shonda Rhymes’ Scandal episodes’ scripts! Pause: Away with the...

I am selfish! I know that’s not what you should say about yourself, but I have been thinking about how I opened the door to the world and the most beautiful thing happened. But then I closed it shut. At least a little. It was always my wish to be open and share everything with you, like I always have, but now it’s sort of hard! In the recent past, it was always just me, I didn’t have to worry about anyone else - if what I did or said made them uncomfortable or if it would affect their lives in any negative way. I knew how to manoeuvre difficult situations and not involve my family since I didn...

‘As a man thinketh in his heart so is he.’ This has been a saying that has never really sunk in. Or maybe it just makes no sense. I am soothing Chimamanda to sleep as I take my meds, read and type at the same time. Depending on your CD4 count – that's the level of immunity in your body – you are put on a different regimen of medication. Since my CD4 count was high, I was put on septrin, an antibiotic to curb minor infections like a cold. But since I decided to get pregnant, I am now on a combination of ARVs, which I still take once a day. Most people don't know that HIV does NOT kill you; it's...

Dear Ex, Simple things fascinated me, like your nose. Well, it did. It does not anymore, not because it turned ugly....You did. With all the lies, oh the damn lies! I was not naive, I just did dearly love you. You. Made up of your personality, peace and calmness. Deep sense of spirituality. Smile, childlike laughter. Heart for humanity and its happiness. Love for simplicity, for justice, for women, for children. For love. That nose looks crooked now. In that moment you first held my hand as we watched the dirty river flowing on a Sunday afternoon, after church. I felt it in the back of my neck...

The sun on a cloudy cold day is like a touch of heaven. The bloom of a rose flower is like watching life come to existence right before your eyes. The first time your ears hear a soothing song under the moon looking into the eyes of the one you love, melts you like a paper on fire. Yet all these instances of paradise none of them compares to being a mother. Chimamanda is six months now. I look at her sleep like an angel, giggle like it's her last, smile like she will drop and grow daily to a beautiful princess. I shake my head or pinch myself a little for I would not imagine waking up and...

"Daddy chololo, daddy chololo," I sing for Chimamanda when her daddy gets home. She smiles, half flying, half jumping to reach the love of my life, her amazing daddy. It never occurred to me that through him I would experience the love of a father for his daughter. I am always amazed. With watery eyes, my heart full to the brim, I wonder how it ever got here. It's such a sweet life because of these two. With endless smooches he asks her playfully, "Baby girl, umeshindaje? Umesumbua mamy?" ( How are you? Did you disturb mamy?) She responds with hearty laughs and giggles. They look so cute...

As she tries standing with the support of my hand eager to reach the laptop probably wondering why my concentration is on it and not on her, I understand. Motherhood is not as rosy. I know you have been wondering why it has taken me so long to write. Chimamanda is demanding all of me. I also want to build my career and I have been applying for endless opportunities when she decides to sleep. Everything has changed. She is so smart now, boasting that she is no longer an infant but a nine-month-old baby girl. She can stand with the support of things around her, sit up without support even when...

My mind…works like a cave Dark, mildew with ancient treasures marked across the Musky slippery floors. The rumble in my head almost as hollow As the wind that passes through the Tunnels, unmarked by men. Sometimes the wind could chatter and echo through And the voices could grow louder. As darkness engulfs Little creatures scamper away They’ve made a home in there... My mind With statues of a past life With stories left behind as memories With decay, and stones crumpling from age. My mind As the words to this Slowly diminish to a silent buzz As I live through the day.