I want you to listen to me carefully.
I think the most beautiful and personal aspect of anyone's journey, is the number of versions of themselves that exist. The people we were, the things we loved, and the memories that shape us. And what is even more beautiful is how we can never go back to being "that person" again, but that does, in no way, hinder the very many better versions of ourselves we are becoming. It is almost like taking a step aside and looking at ourselves and truly understanding why we do what we do, and why that is okay. What should ideally follow is gratitude. Immense unparalleled gratitude to the people we were, to the decisions we made and to the life we knew no better how to live.
But often times, our self perceptions are so critical and we are unknowingly so unkind to ourselves in the smallest of ways. We surround ourselves with toxic situations because they seem familiar or because we don't intend to cause more chaos than what already exists. Or merely because we are afraid of facing the ground reality that broke the notion that something so pure and beautiful could turn out so heartbreaking the next day. It is not our duty to carry the burden of another person's story just because they seem to have it harder. Both struggle and grieving are very personal.
Self compassion is a practice that can take us far. Nothing worthwhile ever came out of being so harsh on ourselves. We are only learning, only still understanding that love is not the grandest gesture but a language that thrives in silent affirmation, a daily check on the ones you love, and sometimes just letting them be, even if it means taking a step back and giving them space and time. There are reasons why people act the way they do, why they fear something that is otherwise considered so normal, why they are so afraid of taking even the smallest steps towards something another could do a million times.
So, dear you - In a world that has set standards of what happiness or acceptance looks like, if the only thing you did today was letting yourself loose and smiling a little more in the mirror at the messy face you woke up to, you have surpassed it like no other.
Loads of love from one messy corner of this world to another.