"Staying at home, consider it as a privilege". The doctors said, to which i solemnly agree. India my home country has been undergoing it's worst phase and it has been more than a month of the deadly 2nd wave. More than the ones staying at home the brutality is being faced by the front line warriors . My heart and mind is just wishing for this dreadful nightmare to come to an end. Well all of us are. Not an hour passes by, without hearing the wailing sirens of an ambulance passing by or seeing the distant blue light blinking appearing and disappearing like a zoom. With every news of death in family, the joy of happiness is robbed away, the peace of mind is disturbed and you don't understand what to do. Like every other children in this country I am attending my online classes as well. Yet the pressure that is building within, the negative emotions, the anxiety that I am coping with and wondering WHY? about everything.
It has been a month of dealing with my anxiety. I didn't understand or know what to do? The anxiety was affecting everything around me. I wasn't coping well with my studies either which affected me more, the feeling of pressure wasn't going well anywhere. I felt stressed from everywhere, the most disturbing was What Lies Ahead? Apparently I felt like the caged bird who sings with a fearful trill longing for freedom. And now this has been going on for a month. So few days ago I just woke up and aligned my thoughts, wrote it down in my journal, wrote down my insecurities building up, wrote down the core of stress, talked to the person who gave me comfort, well the words might help and sometimes won't but I realised at the end of the day its me who has to pull myself out of it. Remember always to breathe and breathe and remind yourself it is okay to feel this way, there is light at the end of the tunnel. And maybe not today but I'll reach there soon. Repeat it everyday. Let your mind know what you feel. None of us deserves to face this, especially children like us definitely do not deserve this. With so much to process and so much to know and the situation that is going on. You feel alone in the never ending road. Find mental health pages/reach out to mental awareness NGOs to help yourself or talk to people, connect with someone you haven't talked to for a long time you never know who is facing similar problems and just come together to talk.
I attended a session conducted by a mental health NGO and although not fully but ended up feeling a little better. People who are facing similar problems come together makes you realise you are not alone in this dreadful journey. Everyone has a different journey but the emotions are alike. You need to align your emotions and let your mind know what you are feeling, rest believe that good things will happen on its own.There is light and Hope lies ahead