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Almost Lost- A BLOG SERIES!
I have not grown up in a small town, so this is not a typical small-town-to-metro-city narration. This is more about finding friends, losing them, and knowing you can remain connected even though you live halfway across the country. This is more about growing up, loving yourself, learning how to live alone, and discovering the world that you never knew all your life could change in a moments notice. This is about college - and all the things that come with it. You may ask me, why I am choosing to write this. Well, there are a couple of reasons. First and foremost, because I think it is...
Life does not stop here
When we first come to life and look into our mother's warm and honest eyes, we feel like our path in life will be safe and full of joy, hopes and little pain; but after we grow up, we realize that life is a constant battle, everything seems to be far more complicated. It all starts with choices that come with the fear of failure, those moments in life when we feel like our souls are withdrawn, facing life's darkest corners and hiding behind shadows. We pause everything, finding ourselves staring into vacancy again and again, wishing for something to happen. Everything seems to be stagnating to...
Are our opinions influenced?
Often in our society an individual’s intellect is measured through grades or qualifications. These qualifications are of no use if it doesn’t take us a step further to being a better human. Instead, an individual’s intellect should help them to differentiate between what is right or wrong. There are numerous issues which our world is facing such as global warming, politics, gender inequality, wars, scarcity of natural resources, etc. We as educated individuals should keep ourselves informed about such ongoing issues. The only thing we have to do is to have our own opinion, which indirectly...
Scattered on the verge of impossible
What is the truth, my truth? And where do I find that language of my soul everyone seems to talk about? I spend a lot of time with myself, perhaps too much. Overthinking about things is my favorite hobby. There’s nothing that gives me more pleasure and misery. I try really hard to be inexplicably complicated, incomprehensible to others, to myself. I do my best to induce obstacles, doubts, complications and delusions. You might call me a master at it. There is no real reason why I do it, I simply prefer to be considered different and atypical. I refuse to materialize myself. I refuse to be...
When you look in the mirror
When you look in the mirror, you should see the person you've wanted to be. Not a celebrity or sports star, but the version of you you've been aspiring to be. If you're not there yet which is almost always the case, keep working at it, your race is not over. Your purpose is yet to be fulfilled.
Almost Lost Chapter 1: I can't. I can.
THE PAST It is my final year of high school. Sitting in my elective art class, I wonder if I am ever going to make it. We have more than a couple of assignments due tomorrow, and I have not completed any of it. Neither will I, until tonight when the panic of failing my class is going to grab me tight with unseen tentacles of anxiety and paranoia. Deep down, I know that the fear of failing this class is only a puzzle piece to my perpetual existential crisis. Most people have told me that I am too young to have it, I beg to differ. Under my desk, cupped in my hands, is my cellphone that I did...
Why I chose to be a Carer
I was recently moaning to a close friend about a particularly rough day I’d had as a carer. I was right in the middle of one of my impassioned rants when Clare suddenly stopped me and asked: “Why do you do this stuff?” My immediate response was that I absolutely love my job. No ifs, no buts, this is the path I’m meant to be on. But it wasn’t always that way. I was stuck in the well-travelled road of the rat race when I finally decided to jump out and do something different. What follows is my story about why I chose community care as a career. If this is something you’re thinking about, you’ll...
The college with the cherry blossoms
The cherry blossom festival holds my most sentimental memories. The lush, pink flowers covered the trees, the ground, even the sky at times. I ran through the festival as a child, twirling through these petals, parading through the sprinklers. It was luck that gave me the beauty of this day. The unpredictable trees finally bloomed and the sun showed itself after days of cold rain. It was a version of beauty and perfection my eyes had never seen. I longed for this fulfilled feeling ever since that day and couldn’t quite find it until I visited Georgetown. The atmosphere, the location, the...
Don't Forget Yourself.
Last year a lot happened, there were so many changes that I wondered, ''is this really happening?'' I started my dream school, got international friends, and finally moved in the hostels. I was living the campus dream. I could finally attend to the campus parties, hang out with the cool kids and maybe, I could finally have my prince charming, especially if he could have Michael Jordan's physic and Chris Brown's talent. Now that I would call ''love at first sight''. It started very well, attending classes on time, ensuring I participated in class not just because am smart, but mostly because I...
Don't dream, do
As naïve children, don’t we all dream of endless possibilities and somehow know that we will leave an everlasting mark on this world? Just a few yesteryears ago we envisioned ourselves to become an astronaut or a policeman or a sports person or maybe even the president of our country, any person who can make the world a better place. Yet, today, these dreams are only a trivial and insignificant part of our existence, that is soon to be forgotten forever. Sometimes the worst thing that can happen to a child is to grow up. As children we blow this huge hot air balloon filled with happiness...
If You Need Me, I'm Here
Who are we? Who are you? Who am I? Am I just another human being or am I an individual worth of respect, understanding and compassion? Am I an impostor or am I the real one? Do I deserve what I’m going through or is it simply something that had to happen? Was it my fault or was it just life going on and on about situations out of my control? These questions plague us, for some, only a couple of hours or days, for others, a couple years and for others, an entire lifetime. We grow up believing that no matter what we do, we can always do better. In any given situation, there is always something...
Pheonix
Just like the sun, I will shine till I burn, I believe in tomorrow and I will return. Just like the ashes, I will burn down all cages, I will set my soul free, I've been waiting for ages. For I am the Pheonix, I am the fire, I am the rage, I breathe desire.
The importance of expression
It starts as a gentle murmur at the base of your skull, and soon spreads upwards, quickly consuming your mind and filling your head with an unrelenting buzzing that cannot be halted. Your eyes blur over and the sound disorientates you, you feel light-headed yet at the same time like your head weighs a ton. I personally have always felt that I handle stress very well. Growing up I never got as overwhelmed as my friends seemed to when it came to exams or schoolwork, and I wouldn’t usually panic myself over results or achieving certain things. I used to think I was just a more laid-back and...
Damaged and in recovery
Have you ever been so hurt that after years have passed you still feel empty? That happened to me. It is still happening to me. I was too young when I had my first and only real relationship. It started when I was 13 and ended just before my 20th birthday. Six years of my life devoted to someone who I thought that really cared about me. I keep saying that I was too young because, by trying to fulfill the romanticism portrayed in those cheesy romcom movies, I lost myself. Now I know that those movies don’t tell you what it really means to be in a healthy relationship. But still, I currently...
Because, we are women
They say we are different, Because some of us wear scarfs on their heads and others sport short haircuts. They say we are different, Because some of us enjoy skirts and others only wear jeans. They say we are different, Because, some of us are Muslims, others are Christians and some others only believe in the stars. They say we are different, Because, we come from different shades of life. Because, we hold different names. Because, we fill life in different shapes. However, are we different? We are all born as free women. We share the same dreams and fears. We all want to be heard, respected...
From my health through my mind
Let me tell you one thing about myself. I was never a quitter and I will never be. However, sometimes, I lose control over myself and over my mind. Sometimes, I just end up lost in a maze, where all my strength dissolves in vain. Then, I try to remind myself that I am strong enough to overcome this darkness. For years, I struggled through minor depression; for some time I drowned myself in sadness. Sometimes, I could not sleep at night. And, some other times I would just start crying without a reason. For long years, I hated that space of time between being awake and falling asleep; I would...
Over the rainbow
While we are walking, we may fall or fly. Either way, our life will change. For the last month, I had to face different downfalls. However, by the end of each fall I learned how to add a new feather to my fragile wings. With much hope in my heart, I might as well fly sometime soon. I started this year with much faith in my heart that everything in my life happens for a reason [and I still believe that]. For that, a lesson learned comes out of a mistake or an achievement fulfilled through failure. I never doubted the existence of a holy spirit living inside of me. That spirit guides me to...
Simplicity: The art of happy living
In spite of recent advancements in science and technology in our world today, I've come to realize that a lot of people still find living increasingly complex. Mostly because they are either too busy making as much money as possible in order to conform to what is trending in the society, or they are in a constant state of anxiety thinking of ways to make said money – with the hope of achieving one goal, happiness. According to David Wann, author of Simple Prosperity, it is important to ask ourselves, "do we seem to be unhappier now than when we began our initial pursuit for rich abundance."...
Defying the odds
You are beautiful, you are charming and regardless of the daunting crowd staring at you, you move with an air of effortlessness and effervescence. I watch as you breeze into the room, with poise that indicated confidence and demanded respect. How do you do it? “Just relax and smile!” You tell me. Please! Easier said than done. In any case, I decided long ago to simply live vicariously through you. Countless times you've giving me a persistent, yet gentle push to live without holding back, you tell me to expand my mental perception on life. How is it that you never gave up on me? “There will be...