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Am I enough?
Almost Lost- A BLOG SERIES!
I have not grown up in a small town, so this is not a typical small-town-to-metro-city narration. This is more about finding friends, losing them, and knowing you can remain connected even though you live halfway across the country. This is more about growing up, loving yourself, learning how to live alone, and discovering the world that you never knew all your life could change in a moments notice. This is about college - and all the things that come with it. You may ask me, why I am choosing to write this. Well, there are a couple of reasons. First and foremost, because I think it is...
Life does not stop here
When we first come to life and look into our mother's warm and honest eyes, we feel like our path in life will be safe and full of joy, hopes and little pain; but after we grow up, we realize that life is a constant battle, everything seems to be far more complicated. It all starts with choices that come with the fear of failure, those moments in life when we feel like our souls are withdrawn, facing life's darkest corners and hiding behind shadows. We pause everything, finding ourselves staring into vacancy again and again, wishing for something to happen. Everything seems to be stagnating to...
Are our opinions influenced?
Often in our society an individual’s intellect is measured through grades or qualifications. These qualifications are of no use if it doesn’t take us a step further to being a better human. Instead, an individual’s intellect should help them to differentiate between what is right or wrong. There are numerous issues which our world is facing such as global warming, politics, gender inequality, wars, scarcity of natural resources, etc. We as educated individuals should keep ourselves informed about such ongoing issues. The only thing we have to do is to have our own opinion, which indirectly...
Scattered on the verge of impossible
What is the truth, my truth? And where do I find that language of my soul everyone seems to talk about? I spend a lot of time with myself, perhaps too much. Overthinking about things is my favorite hobby. There’s nothing that gives me more pleasure and misery. I try really hard to be inexplicably complicated, incomprehensible to others, to myself. I do my best to induce obstacles, doubts, complications and delusions. You might call me a master at it. There is no real reason why I do it, I simply prefer to be considered different and atypical. I refuse to materialize myself. I refuse to be...
When you look in the mirror
When you look in the mirror, you should see the person you've wanted to be. Not a celebrity or sports star, but the version of you you've been aspiring to be. If you're not there yet which is almost always the case, keep working at it, your race is not over. Your purpose is yet to be fulfilled.
Almost Lost Chapter 1: I can't. I can.
THE PAST It is my final year of high school. Sitting in my elective art class, I wonder if I am ever going to make it. We have more than a couple of assignments due tomorrow, and I have not completed any of it. Neither will I, until tonight when the panic of failing my class is going to grab me tight with unseen tentacles of anxiety and paranoia. Deep down, I know that the fear of failing this class is only a puzzle piece to my perpetual existential crisis. Most people have told me that I am too young to have it, I beg to differ. Under my desk, cupped in my hands, is my cellphone that I did...
How to feel better
Sometimes life can get pretty difficult to deal with, but it's important to always get back on the right track. When it gets the hardest, that's when you need to work on yourself the most. No matter how old you are, everyday tasks can start to seem impossible; even a simple "getting out of bed" can become a daily struggle. That's when you know that something's wrong with you. When I say "wrong" I don't mean that you're bad, unhealthy or broken. To me it simply means that you need a break to collect yourself and there's nothing wrong with taking a step back. Today's generation has to deal with...
Why I chose to be a Carer
I was recently moaning to a close friend about a particularly rough day I’d had as a carer. I was right in the middle of one of my impassioned rants when Clare suddenly stopped me and asked: “Why do you do this stuff?” My immediate response was that I absolutely love my job. No ifs, no buts, this is the path I’m meant to be on. But it wasn’t always that way. I was stuck in the well-travelled road of the rat race when I finally decided to jump out and do something different. What follows is my story about why I chose community care as a career. If this is something you’re thinking about, you’ll...
The college with the cherry blossoms
The cherry blossom festival holds my most sentimental memories. The lush, pink flowers covered the trees, the ground, even the sky at times. I ran through the festival as a child, twirling through these petals, parading through the sprinklers. It was luck that gave me the beauty of this day. The unpredictable trees finally bloomed and the sun showed itself after days of cold rain. It was a version of beauty and perfection my eyes had never seen. I longed for this fulfilled feeling ever since that day and couldn’t quite find it until I visited Georgetown. The atmosphere, the location, the...
Don't Forget Yourself.
Last year a lot happened, there were so many changes that I wondered, ''is this really happening?'' I started my dream school, got international friends, and finally moved in the hostels. I was living the campus dream. I could finally attend to the campus parties, hang out with the cool kids and maybe, I could finally have my prince charming, especially if he could have Michael Jordan's physic and Chris Brown's talent. Now that I would call ''love at first sight''. It started very well, attending classes on time, ensuring I participated in class not just because am smart, but mostly because I...
Don't dream, do
As naïve children, don’t we all dream of endless possibilities and somehow know that we will leave an everlasting mark on this world? Just a few yesteryears ago we envisioned ourselves to become an astronaut or a policeman or a sports person or maybe even the president of our country, any person who can make the world a better place. Yet, today, these dreams are only a trivial and insignificant part of our existence, that is soon to be forgotten forever. Sometimes the worst thing that can happen to a child is to grow up. As children we blow this huge hot air balloon filled with happiness...
If You Need Me, I'm Here
Who are we? Who are you? Who am I? Am I just another human being or am I an individual worth of respect, understanding and compassion? Am I an impostor or am I the real one? Do I deserve what I’m going through or is it simply something that had to happen? Was it my fault or was it just life going on and on about situations out of my control? These questions plague us, for some, only a couple of hours or days, for others, a couple years and for others, an entire lifetime. We grow up believing that no matter what we do, we can always do better. In any given situation, there is always something...
Burnout in the Age of Hustle Culture - A World Mental Health Day Tribute
Good mental health? I hold it hostage. Guardians of my mindset attempt reconcile – But remain limp in bondage. I know I’ve got this. Breathing in deep oxygen I haven’t earned – With nothing in return? I don’t deserve it. It’ll be worth it. Just a few more months running on hope A vision of the future a utopia wrote – I want it. No other option but to keep on slugging. Running on 1%, struggling, Too anxious to stop my mind from whirring, It’s hurting, I’m burning - Out. I’m running away from the dream as if hot coals scold my feet, Looking back at what I have achieved that I can no longer reach...
The diverging path
With a single perception of reality, struggle has inset. The misconception of one existing reality has confined the human mind. Expectations of a path one must follow in order to be “successful”, where such success is defined by money or renown, a narrow-minded idea of untrue credentials one must accomplish in order to achieve happiness. Upon achieving such “success” one feels empty, forever longing for more, as human desires are insatiable. In order to increase satisfaction among the unsatisfiable we must break through the boundless restrictions in which society has trapped us. The path of...
Rural poverty American Midwest
Rural poverty in America is an issue that's very close to my heart. While I never had to live in such situations, my family has. I have seen how poverty has shaped them as people and how their struggles effect our lives to this day. I particularly care about the effect of rural poverty on women and people with mental illness, through lack of access to health care, mental health resources, education, and so on. I just came here to say it's a problem. I am going to work to fix it. From watching my family, I know rural women have to work so hard, it's incredible. I imagine it is like that all...
My mentor - Lights on
Louise hugged me when we first met, and I felt the warmth of it. The embrace was special to me, as Asian culture does not encourage physical contact even among family members. My first impression about her is the way she laughs, which is so contagious that I smelled the fragrance of confidence. She influences me with her characters, as I always want to be so free from the bond of conventions, to burst into laughter spontaneously, and more importantly, to grow into a confident individual. Louise, my host mother, radiates confidence like unceasing waves, from within. By confidence, I mean to be...
Four legged therapists
The simple wag of my dog's tail has the ability to give me a certain joy that can't be felt through anything else. The day I brought my first dog home has remained a life changing moment and is a memory that I will cherish forever. Pets possess an inherent quality that makes you feel loved and wanted all the time. Not only are they our loyal companions, but they are also our best friends. Whether we realize it or not, pets act as our own, personal therapists. They immediately light up our day when we get home from school or work. Despite the numerous emotions we might have, coming home to our...
Let’s face the world with its grim reality of injustice
Hard work and virtue get rewards. In a fair and flawless world, everything seems self-explanatory. Students get good grades because they pay attention in class; business magnates earn money and status through their industrious effort; losers fail because they aren’t wise enough to seize opportunities. This is what I believed in the past, that the world is just and we all get the things we deserve. When I was ten, I wanted to be a poet. My desire was so strong that I could imagine how I would walk through the red carpet and accept the Nobel Prize of literature. I read one book per day...